Ere goes Chris Hitchens, arse solid man.  I woke up this morning with the bare bones of a poem (or whatever you call those things) commemorating his life, which I have posted on my old blog (that I’ve been meaning on reviving for a while):Click on this! I promise no less than two topless pictures!

In addition, since I’m talking about poetry and commemorating the Hitch, here is Hitchens’ favorite poem, “The Ogre” by W.H. Auden:

The Ogre does what ogres can,
Deeds quite impossible for Man,
But one prize is beyond his reach,
The Ogre cannot master Speech:
About a subjugated plain,
Among its desperate and slain,
The Ogre stalks with hands on hips,
While drivel gushes from his lips.

So I don’t really care which one of us is which Star Trek character, because I was never all that into Star Trek and also because I only want to be the guy from Reading Rainbow or the one with the funny ears.  What really matters here is, which character from the hip and popular mid-’90s superhero comic book The New Warriors am I?

I mean, Geoff is obviously Night Thrasher, because I lived with him, and there’s no way you can stop him from thrashing in the middle of the night.  He even thrashes in the day sometimes!  And Jared is probably Nova, because I know how much he likes putting a bucket on his head.  I guess Miles would be Namorita, on account of how much time he spends posing by the beach or whatever, and Warren would have to be Speedball because he’s also addicted to heroin.  But who does that leave?  I can’t be Marvel Boy, because that’s Micah (both are known for their propensity for beating up old Jewish men- look it up in my previous New Warriors post).

So who am I?  Rage?  I’m really not that angry.  Turbo, maybe?  I’m not a transvestite asian with vacuum cleaners attached to my wrists- that’s Alan!  I guess I could be Hindsight Lad, but only if Miles admits that I’m his favorite super-hero…

Okay, Panda face- in only about48 hours I will be in the land of swords and sorcery (or whatever it is that Korea calls itself).  You are meeting me at the Camellia line ferry terminal, yes?  In Busan?  Because I have no phone and no way to contact you or anybody else once I set out from Hakata. I will look like myself, only a little bit older, so look out for me arriving at 8:00pm.

Once I am in Korea, feel free to use me however you want.  I know you probably have to teach on Friday, and I would love to see your class and/or help out.  Also, I can sleep anywhere and can feed myself, assuming that I am supplied with a bear to treat a Ton-ton.  Basically, I am yours until around 9pm on Saturday.

Also, why are the rest of you not here with me?  Warren, I went to the coolest nerdy place in Amerika-mura in Osaka.  It had old video games, more manga than I have ever seen, and huge amounts of those expensive dolls that you like.  Geoff, I will tell you more about this later, but the Zen master I was staying with explicitly said that you are right and that there are no divine beings and people should have no religion and that you are very smart.  Miles, there are these freakish 500-year-old camphor trees in a Shinto shrine near the hypocenter of the Atomic blast in Nagasaki that are all warped and reformed and irradiated and awesome.  Jared, there are a lot of perverts here.

So I spend some time looking around for the cheapest way to get to Korea and back, and the one I think would work best is the Camellia Line ferry (https://www.camellia-line.co.jp/yoyaku/yoyaku/index.html?lang=en).  This would leave Fukuoka at 12:30 and arrive in Busan at 18:00, and on the return trip would depart at 20:00 and arrive back in Fukuoka at 7:30 in the morning.

I’m thinking the time that would work best is for me to head over there on November the 17th (Thursday), stay for Thursday and Friday night, hang out on Saturday, and then leave at 8:00pm on the ferry on Saturday.  If I buy tickets within the next few days (and they seem to be selling out pretty quickly), it’ll only cost me about $230 dollars.  I’d be more than willing to pay this if you can meet me at the ferry station on Thursday night and help me get back there on Saturday.  I have the sneaking suspicion that I’ll get totally lost if I try to find my way to your place and back alone, given that the only words that I know in Korean are Tae, Kwon, and Do, and that could maybe get me into trouble.

I’d love to stay for Sunday as well, but tickets are sold out from the 20th onwards because of Thanksgiving or something.  Also, doing this any earlier is possible, but only a day or two, and I know that you also have to teach on the weekdays.  Anyway, let me know as soon as possible if this is something that we can do and if you’re going to be free and in Korea at the time and I’ll buy the cheap tickets as soon as I can.

I’m teaching about Korea this Wednesday- the Japanese occupation, the Korean War, and the craziness in North Korea. I might also teach the chillins the secret about how you’re all bears in human suits. What else should I tell the kids that they will need to know or might find interesting about Korea? Got any pictures you think people need to see of Korea? I don’t think I can get away with teaching them any Tae Kwon Do because my supervising teacher is going to be in the room…

I’ll be free between noon and 3:30 and between about 7 and 9 pm.  Give me a call if you want to hang out…you will probably have to meet me in P-town, but I’d love to see you guys.  Especially Alan!

As it sounds. I’mma be in LO tomorrow night and also Saturday during the day. Lost my call phone so call Kyla or something, I don’t know. I’ll just show up outside your windows.

This is for tomorrow, which by the time that it’s today will mean that I mean for today, because I wrote this yesterday.  Anyway, here is a present:

Also, CLICK ON THIS LINK:
I’m trying to save your soul, man. You’re closer to death now that you’re getting into your pre-30s.

Miles’ edit
Can I get in on the well-wishing too? Here’s a video that’s mind-numbingly stupid, but still funny.

As promised, I made a post, or Ska-ost, to celebrate the two-year anniversary (bi-Skantennial) of this website- Giant Skabot Club!! I remember it was only about two years ago (or 14 years in Ska time, which is the same as dog time) when Warren and Sean (aka Ska-n) sent out emails (or ska-mails) to people about a new site.

I love Ska music!

My favorite post were the ones about the…peanuts? Didn’t somebody make a post about the peanut man from Planter’s peanuts? Now that I think about it, it may have been a post about Keanu Reeves (son of Christopher Reevers, who played Superman until his back was broken by Bane). Okay, I don’t really remember any of that shit, because Ska, that’s why!

Ska music, as you guys may have heard, actually means “skate music.” People got lazy and dropped off the “te”, because there’s only so much time to live. Extreeme!!! Skate music became popular worldwide because of the trombones, which were actually just two skateboards taped together. Ska specifically became popular with skinheads, who identified with the white-power lyrics of such songs as “Free Nelson Mandela.” Skinheads also loved Ska because it began with the letter “S”, which they thought looked a lot like Hitler on his knees pouring a cup of tea. Ska is now acknowledged by music scientists to be the greatest form of music because of it’s focus on two-tone. Says one musicologist, Dr. Scorpion Earhaver, “ska music is the best because most humans have only two ears, and ska has two tones. For one-eared persons, I recommend seashells or the soundtrack to Mr Holland’s Opus. The best music for earless people is Destiny’s Child.”

In the 1980s, Ska entered what is called the “third wave.” The first wave of Ska was blowing through two skateboards taped together. The second wave was Nazism. This new, third wave was where everybody decided to do nothing but covers of songs by Sublime and it is still going strong today!

Okay, that’s enough history (or, as Toaster’s lead singer Gwen Stephani calls it, “ska-story.” However, he also said that the moon landing was fake because he “ain’t no hollor back girl.”). Now for some music…some Ska-sic! Here’s my ska-pick for the biskantennial skaong for skiant skabot skalub: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CS9OO0S5w2k

-Miles